QUOTE (DrBubb @ Jan 25 2008, 12:13 AM)

Yes.
I have started a new thread on Why life may not be so bad in a Post-Crash Society :
Bright FutureThe Key thing is: a sense of community may grow out of hardship, as people rediscover an old formula:
JOURNEY: Selfishness > Noticing > Helping > Altruistic Joy
By looking after our neighbors, we build community, and the community sustains us emotionally,
and in some material ways, when times are tough.
Unfortunately, not everyone "gets it". I have a rather new acquaintance in HK, who is going through
a tough time. I phoned him, yo offer to help him find a cheaper place to live (partly, because I was
thinking about the formula above.) He treat my offer of help with the utmost suspicion. I would up
saying something like, "Well, of course, thus idea may not work for you. And I certainly dont want to
impose it on you... I'm here, if you want the help. But if you choose niot to take it, well that's fine
too."
Those alturistic feelings will never come forth, if you discover you are helping the ungrateful,
or worse yet, others who are mere vampires, and just want to suck up all the blood they can get.
I suppose a new world of richer communities, will take a new mindset of people who understand the
goal of building a network of people who give and take help.
I had a good experience like this a couple of years ago. Someone I had recently met, a Japanese masters student here in the UK, was struggling with his thesis. Although he had pretty good English, he lacked certain communication skills, and he also did not really "get" what was required by his tutors, which was culturally very different from what was expected in Japan. At that point, I had a Eureka moment (I work in the field of communications training, and had recently completed a masters too, and could easily see where he was going wrong). Also, this guy had spent £25k and saved for 5 years to realise this dream, and it broke my heart to see that he was probably going to fail.
So I said "Look! I'll come down to Bath for 3 days, and let's sort this out". He was shocked at first, and I wondered if I was being pushy. Was I humiliating him? Did he think I had a hidden agenda?
In the end, I went down, and we worked together (he was desperate!), and in the end he passed his masters.
Was I being altruistic? Not really, the guy is now one of my greatest friends, and has sparked numerous trips to Japan and other global adventures, so I gained much more, in a way than I put in. And anyway i enjoyed the work I did in Bath.
So, my experience tells me that you are right to take control and offer help: people might be surprised at first, but in the end it's a win-win situation for both parties.
But it's the modern world that's gone awry: I'm sure the Ancient Greeks, and many other traditional societies, would have had no problem with this approach.